“I need a light bulb! Can you get me this exact model, please?”
“We’re sorry! We don’t sell the normal ones anymore. Here is a better one. This one’s a smart bulb!”
“What does it do?”
“It can change colors and notify your social communications.”
“But this doesn’t make any sense! I wouldn’t mind checking my notifications on my phone.”
“But you can control it right from your phone. Turn it on or off from your couch, office or anywhere in the world”
“Why would I turn my light on from my office or anywhere in the world?”
“What if you left it on?”
“In the past twenty years, I have never left my lights on. Ever!”
“But this one’s smart!”
“It’s okay! A simple dumb bulb is good for me. Do you know where I can still get it?”
“Nah! People don’t buy those things these days. The company stopped it months ago!”
“Hmm… You leave me no choice. How much is this smart bulb?”
“150 bucks!”
“Woah! It’s okay… I can live with candles!”
“Ooh! We have smart candles too. Would you like to see a demo?”
“What! Even candles? What’s smart about it?”
“It uses batteries for the flame. And you can turn it on and off with your phone too!”
“I still have to change my batteries right?”
“Yup!”
“How is it different from changing the damn candles like normal people do?”
“It’s smart!”
“Fuck you!”